(All excerpts are from my diary ‘Single and not going to miss the baby boat’)
09 December 2009
It’s funny to be closing down this part of the diary over a year after my last entry. I finally got pregnant with my 4th IVF.
I had decided that I would do 1 more and then I would start trying to rebuild my life. Who knows if that is what I would actually have done.
As if the universe had finally decided to give me a break, I had the most enjoyable pregnancy imaginable and the birth was easy, in short I loved every second of it. If this was born from sheer gratitude or whether it would have been so anyway, again who knows?
I hope I have not painted a terrifying picture but the only thing I have to offer is the truth. Many women (not all) will get pregnant if they are able to keep trying and it must be said, I was extremely unlucky with the length of time it took me. I have included the desperate bits because I believe they are often part of the process. For me it was essential to get to face my darkest fears and to question why I wanted this child. I implore you to do the same. Really question why you are considering this. This foundation of personal honesty will keep you strapped to the mast if the storm breaks.
As I write I am watching my 8-month-old son sleeping, he is a blessing in every sense of the word. Even though it is intensely difficult at times I feel like the luckiest woman alive every day that I spend with him, and I hope that feeling never fades.
The gift at the end is truly golden and from my heart I wish you good luck.
Do I wish I was in a loving, supportive relationship?
Sometimes.
Do I feel sad that my son doesn’t have a father?
Very often.
Would I change my situation?
Not for all the tea in China.
LINKS
www.singleandnotgonnamissthebabyboat.blogspot.co.uk
www.singlemothersbychoice.org/blog
www.knockedupbyatesttube.blogspot.co.uk
www.attemptingtheordinary.blogspot.co.uk
www.theafa.org/blog/single-motherhood-the-choice
www.choicemoms.org
‘Maverick Mother’ Official Trailer